Anthony Brown
Anthony Brown spent 23 years living on the streets battling homelessness, addiction and incarceration. He describes his state of mind as one without hope, trying not to feel, trying not to care. Until one day a police officer asked if he wanted some help. Today Anthony is a registered nurse, an author, speaker and founder of Brown Manor, a safe place where those in need can restore their lives.
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In this episode:
The impact of his childhood and early alcohol and drug abuse.
Running away from home with a carnival at the age of 14.
His experience living on the streets.
The juxtaposition of prison being a reprieve.
The two people that helped redirect his path to become the man he is today.
The source of the solution for homelessness, according to Anthony.
Stay connected to Anthony:
Website: anthonyhowardbrown.com
Book: From Park Bench to Park Avenue: One Man's Journey Out of Homelessness
Facebook: Brown Manor
You Tube: Anthony Howard Brown - YouTube
Twitter: @brown_manor
Instagram: @brown.manor
Charity: Jeanette Joan Saffold Foundation
Other Resources:
Wise Words:
I remember when I started getting loaded with a purpose, like getting high was a purpose. I started saying, I'm gonna count how many days I can get high in a row. And, I think I stopped when I was 37 years old.
Living on the streets is about survival. I had got to the point where I convinced myself that if I don't want anything, when I don't get anything, I don't feel anything. And it's okay not to feel anything. And so I walked around as a shell of nothing.
I didn't care about anything. When you don't care about anything, then it doesn't matter what happens,
It's really hard to describe what it's like to not feel and not care.
If I die, so what? If I live, so what?
That allowed me to not care about bathing. That allowed me to eat food out of a dumpster. That allowed me to take whatever I think I wanted, you know? Once I started going to prison, then it didn't even matter if I got arrested anymore.
Being in prison is better than being on the streets.
Would I want to be treated like a human being? Yeah. But my defense mechanisms are always up. And more often than not, when you would look at me, you would go, “Ooh.” And once I sense that, it's like get the heck away from me.
I understand why they're doing what they're doing.
I would always want somebody to feel some compassion cuz that's what happened with me. Realize that I'm a human being and just have major issues that need to be resolved so I can feel human again.
What was fascinating was that a lot of people got upset that somebody's defecating on a sidewalk. But if you look at it from that person that is defecating on a sidewalk, which probably has been me somewhere in time, I have to make a choice. Do I defecate inside the only clothes that I have, or do I do it on the sidewalk because I don't have any more clothes.
They don't understand that logic. Someone would say, “well why don't you just go to the bathroom?” Okay, but where am I gonna go? Where am I gonna go to the bathroom? Am I gonna walk into a restaurant and go to the bathroom? No, because the last one or the last three already told me I’m not allowed in there.
It takes at least, I would say, a good 30 days just to detox, to be in the right frame of mind. You have to have somebody skilled there because the drinking and the drugs just covered up all that childhood abuse for me.
If it wasn't for the drugs, I probably would've killed myself, to be honest with you.
I went from living a really fast paced life to feeling like I’m listening to elevator music.
I have three rules I have to live by. And I've been living by them ever since. One, I can never hate anybody. Two, I cannot intentionally do any harm to anybody. And three, I have to finish everything I start.
I was taught a long time ago that grateful people are happy people and those that aren't, aren't. So, I'm grateful that I get to be indoors. I'm grateful I can see. I'm grateful I have a pillow. I have batteries in my remote control so I don't have to get outta bed to turn the TV on. Grateful I have a tv. I have this attitude, so I'm automatically winning before I even step out of my bedroom.
It's okay to feel and heal and it's okay to cry.
I'm okay with talking about things because when you bring something out of the dark into the light, then the shadow diminishes.
I'm established in society and my positive attributes outweigh the negativity that occurred in my life.
What matters is how I care about another individual. By helping somebody else, it helps me and it's all a part of the universe. We're all connected.
We have to stop fighting each other. Everybody has something that they can bring to the table.
Let's come to an agreement where you can use 5% of what I know and 5% of what somebody else knows. Let everybody become involved instead of saying, no 100% my way.
The easiest way to resolve this homeless problem is we have all of these empty institutions, we have abandoned hospitals. Why not allow people from the streets to live there and start working in that capacity?
It's not self-worth or a self-esteem issue. It's a self-concept issue. It's who we convince ourselves of who we are. We live by labels. How about we start changing who the individual believes that they are and then support that, reinforce that. Give people kudos.
I think people should understand that we're all human. Nothing is perfect in this world, absolutely nothing. And understand that we're all in the same boat. Every one of us is in the same boat. Understand that and maybe we should take a deep breath before we judge.